And every time another Noughties look has been reclaimed as desirable Y2K nostalgia, a voice in my head has whispered: “Please, whatever comes next, don’t let it be shorts and tights.” ...

In fact, it gave me more flashbacks than an ayahuasca ceremony. I suddenly came over all nostalgic for the Noughties, which is strange, as I’ve always found it quite hard to define that decade.